Thank You, Positive Vibes ~

Buenos Dias,

I am on a mission to prove you wrong, and I must remember to thank you for your words of encouragement.

Thank you for taking the time to try and belittle me and my decisions. Thank you for reminding me that I have so much stored up potential that I need to use in order to succeed.

Thank you for shaming my mind, body and emotions. My thought processes, my actions and my beliefs have all grown the skin needed to get through your cut throat words.

My life is taking me on a journey of acceptance and understanding, but I won’t forget everything you have said. I will make it, I will succeed your expectations.

Gracias,

Su Sucesor.

P.S. #PositiveVibes ~

Don't Worry, I Can

I’ve always been a hopeless romantic, looking to sink my teeth into a love like Edward Cullen. I truly believed there was a person out there for everyone, and that when we found them, we would do our best to make sure the love was healthy and everlasting. Long walks on the beach, cuddling during any type of storm, being able to truly be appreciated for everything you are, I wanted it to be like the movies.

Now, years later, I find myself looking for love that can be true and pure. I want to be able to be trusted, and give my complete trust back. I want fireworks every single time we talk. I want everything.

Today, I find myself feeling like these are just dreams, as if people are to self-centered and closed off to want the same thing, and I thought expressing myself as a bad boy would make me fit into the mold society is carving out. I AM NOT CLAY. I will not allow myself to be shaped the same way as everyone else. I will not lose sight on what makes me, me.

I want love that stares me in the face every single morning and tells me I am safe, heard and respected. I want a love that tells me when I overstep the boundary but loves me even with my faults. I want love that isn’t based on sex, but understands the importance of expressing sexual attraction and pleasure. I want a love that will wait for me, that I can wait for, and build something even bigger than ourselves.

I want a family. I want kids. I want the whole nine yards. I will not allow my sexuality to define the life I can live with my partner, and I will fight for it. I want to own a home that will house my future family and the life we create for ourselves. I want to beat the odds.

I don’t want to give into the pressures of everyone around me. I will NOT allow myself to become a statistic of gay Latinx men that live in the ghettos of the city. I will NOT allow myself to be played with emotionally. I will NOT sell myself short and look for love inside of lust.

I will fight. I will protect. I will continue to search for what I want in life, and for the person who will truly value my time and efforts. I will no longer just write down my feelings and not better myself. I will take a stand for what I deserve. I will get up and make sure I am the best person I can be.

I don’t care if I am young. I don’t care if I am still a student. I know the life I want to live, and if I have to wait for people to reach the same level of maturity, I will. No more second chances. Just me being me; true, honest and pure.

-ism

-ism

My thoughts on the -ism of the world. No dictionary or translation needed for this piece. I have the right to my own opinions and will jot down my thoughts before looking for real answers on words I cant use the correct way. Being raised speaking Spanish and learning English to fit into society has helped me form my own thoughts on words by the way they're used repeatedly. I may not understand everything but I can at least manage to sound words out and try and define them based on their pronunciation.

I have been told I am uneducated by the way I think. I have been put down by the way I sound out words and use them in a sentence. What people dont understand is that I create my own definitions. I create my own images to connect with words that are far from my reach. I dont need someone throwing a dictionary at my face when I use a word freely, when I use a word in a way that makes sense to me. But words like feminism, sexism and imperialism all share the same -ism. I have understood that these endings all share a similar use. Just like the -ing, the -ism brings these words together in order to share a specific cause. While -ing helps depict an action, while the -ism describes a view on life.

Understanding these endings help people use words the right way. Unlike most people my age, I have had less time with a dictionary. I have spent less time reading books and learning about syntax and diction than I have speaking to people in my broken English. What I believe people dont understand is the importance of these words and views on life. So many people take these words for granted, and although I dont have the largest dictionary on the planet, I appriciate every word I know of now.

Feminism. A word I hold close to the heart. Having a prodominant group of female friends, I care about their lives and about how they are affected by the views of others. Women are strong. Women are caring. And some women can go with their lives not depending on someone to come along and care for them. I have met all types of women in this city. I have met women who need others to appreciate them, and women who say theyre independent but do nothing but search for a partner that can care for them. Although there are women who feel that they need a man in their lives, I havent met a woman who ever said they dont need equality. Men can be dependent on their partners in order to get ahead, so what makes it fair for them to be the higher sex in the food chain. Yes, men are bigger and stronger than women, but men need women as much as women need independency.

Media takes a hold of an -ism and changes it to fit their own ideology. It happens and there isnt anything anyone can do to stop it from occuring. When women take a beautiful and talented womans tantalizing lifestyle and try to make it seem as if she is empowering a whole group of women, I take total offence. Empowerment isnt about sexuality or beauty, its about helping make a group of people educated and helping them find the rode to independence.

I believe women are gorgeous in every sense of the word, but when women flash the world with their bodies I dont see them trying to help anyone out but themselves. Men want women to be nothing but steaks on a plate, and television is a national dish served with masculine spices of power and money. People who are aware of pop culture would see a woman rising to fame as empowering because we have been conditioned to believe a woman showing her body and growing a fan base off of it is what it means to empower. Like Marilyn Monroe once did with the use of her career and beauty, woman now see her as empowering and strong. When in reality we have had woman like Jasvinder Sanghera who help woman that are victims of forced marriages and honour violence. Women like Sanghera are what empowering is all about. Bieng selfless and understanding there is more then ones self.

-ism is more than an ending, it is a beginning to something more. Humanity cant move on without people believing in something positive and making a change in peoples eyes. Just coming up with a plan is useless if you arent going to come up with a way to make a difference. People should also keep from creating subgroups in groups that are already struggling to be more in the world. -ism is more than one person fighting for the same cause, its a community based in similar ideologies and taking the steps necessary to change the world. One mind at a time.