Apparently, I am the only one that feels that I don't have the skills necessary to form new relationships. Growing up in a broken home with broken fellowships, I never quite got the hang of making friends. To this day, I do not feel capable of going up to someone and starting something that could be as beautiful as a friendship. Of course, that's me looking from the inside out.
Throughout high school I would get in trouble for my friend's actions because I was told I was one of the two leaders in the group. I personally have never felt in control of any of my friendships and continue to try and come out with a mutual agreement when making plans. Yes, I do have a loud personality with little to no boundaries But I allow myself to hear what people have to say and in turn be able to take what they say into consideration. Recently, I have been told more often that I have great leadership skills and am able to communicate in such a professional manner, that it is taking me by surprise.
I had little to no friends growing up. It took me a hell of a while to be able to talk to a classmate and talk about more than school. People I meet feel as if I have friends all over the world, when frankly I truly only know a handful of people inside and out. I have always tried to accept people for who they are, even if they have traits that aren't agreeable with my standards. As a communications major, I feel that it is my job to make sure I am able to not only accept anyone into my life, but be able to understand them.
I have had a handful of experiences with all types of people, from the physically impaired, to the mentally unstable. I have always looked to the best in people, no matter their issues, and I believe that makes me a great person. I can look at someone and treat them as a human and not as a brittle piece of glass that needs the worlds protection. Of course, if someone needs to be protected I believe I have the right to intervene to make sure nothing happens to the said person. I'll admit, I have my flaws when it comes to making friends, but I try my best to try and keep the bonds I create.
Leadership is a skill, a trait, and responsibility I don't even know how to use correctly. I never knew I had it.
Leadership is such a strong word that I personally don't believe it fits into my character. I feel like any other person in the crowd despite coming off as having a strong personality with views people don't normally share with the rest of the world. I have always wanted to walk in the middle of the group rather than the front. I try to listen to everyone in a conversation instead of hearing out only one person. I've never tried to lead a group, I simply wanted to be a part of one.
Knowing I can be a leader helps me understand that I can one day lead my own life and know I will have people behind me to support my every decision, even if they don't always agree. I will continue to be the outgoing person I have always tried to be, and knowing I can lead people makes me feel as humble as anyone in my position should be.
Fortunately, being seen as a leader makes me even more responsible when it comes to understanding how people feel. It's a hard and yet thrilling task to be able to get to know someone on that deep of a level, and accept the people around me for who they are. Knowing that I can have an effect on someone's views helps me appreciate the people who ignored me for many years. That my views of the world matter and I can be the voice for people who are too introverted to speak for themselves.
I will continue my growth as a student, friend, and leader in order to be the voice people want, instead of an unrefined man who chooses to be more self involved. All I need from my friends and family is to be open about how they feel, about what they want out of me. I can't be the person to voice opinions if I don't know what people think I need to do to get there. I respect honesty in order to work with everyone, as well as understand myself.
Great leaders not only lead their friends across journeys, but understand that not only their views are important, that in essence every individual in the crowd has an opinion and view that is just as important.
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