From Guilt to Action

A year ago today I was hit by the tragic news of Leelah Alcorn, a brave girl who took her life to make a change in our society. She was willing to take her own life and become a statistic for trans women everywhere and help push for social reform. Today, a year later, I am still riddled with the guilt of not being able to understand the circumstances she was in. I am not trying to sound ungrateful of the people around me that have supported me through the worst, but I am acknowledging the fact not everyone has had it as easy as I have.

                I have been called a faggot, I have been made a fool of for peoples’ entertainment, and I have cried tears of fear of what could happen to me because of who I am. Through all the rough patches, I was still accepted by the people who I wanted nothing but the best for, the people I called family. Being able to live my life without any fear of being completely ostracized by my peers helped me build my confidence in facing the world and the many people that looked at me with disgust and judgement.

                Of course, this confidence blinded me of the reality that many LGBT+ youth face daily. The stories like that of Leelah Alcorn really cut deep for me. Knowing their stories have a beginning and an end before they get to live a complete life really shakes me up and reminds me of the cruelty on this Earth. Over the past year I have really tried to learn more about being a gay Latinx living in a city. A year later, I am still trying to accept the wide spectrum that falls under the LGBT+ umbrella. The umbrella that I not only belong to, but the one I owe for the ability to understand my gender and sexuality.

                Starting the Pride! Club at school, taking part of the NELGBTC, and being more aware of the troubles in the community, I have attempted to dip my feet into waters very vast and unknown to me. This year, I hope to build on what I have learned, digested and experienced in my community to really start a change. School, work and internships won’t stop me on building myself and maybe even being able to help a person in need of emotional comfort and mutual understanding.

Leelah this year is for you, for me, for us as a community.